It's all really, really there

The beauty of a living thing is not the atoms that go into it
But the way those atoms are put together
The cosmos is also within us
We're made of star stuff
We are a way for the cosmos to know itself

-Carl Sagan

A series of vocoded music videos about space and science featuring everyone's favorite science popularizers? Yes, please.

The Death Star of Minsk

Well, it does look really awesome.

Freedom from Covert Harrassment

Somehow my boss got on the listserv of a genuinely psychotic individual(s) who are convinced they're being watched by "US military intelligence and the US investigative agencies, certain defense contractors, corporations, as well as individuals and teams of private citizens."
In other words, everyone.

The List of Associated Harassment Activities reads like a second-person version of the DSM-IV.

I'm including this on the blog because I'm genuinely impressed at how organized and coherent this is. It's not hard to find some mentally ill folks on the internet, but combined with detail and late-90s web design, I'm sure they'll attract a little more attention than the average schizophrenic.

By the way, the latest email to my boss was about being dropped by their lawyers and looking for a new one. Anyone know any lawyers willing to represent these guys? I kinda want to listen in on their periodic conference calls.

As a bonus check out their expert witness, a real Canadian psychiatrist!

"I claim that I can send a beam of energy out of my eyes, capture it in a special set of goggles I have built, and then use the energy to make a tone play out of a speaker. I can do this using the equipment I will bring to the challenge and I can do so at any time, in any office or hotel room that is convenient. I can make the tone sound at will and can signal that I will do so with a finger signal or in response to a verbal command from another person, such as "now" or "go." The tone will play briefly when I decide to make it do so using my eyes and will not play at any other time."

He's taking on James Randi!

Cats can has swine flu and diplomas too!

Fresh off the heels of the first confirmed H1N1 case in cats is one of wikipedia's famed lists, evidence that everything must be catalogued (or in other words, lots of time on someone's hands). There's also links to a few good diploma mill stories there if you're interested.

By the way, isn't the phrase "time on their hands" just really bizarre?

Thanks to Pierre for this one.

Surprisingly insightful junk mail texts

Seemingly not advertising anything in particular. They made it through my spam filter, so there must be something special about them.

long lust, true artists don't cling to their creations

Yours sincerely.
find the results of your reactions and trace their roots, innpeeper

All the best!
smoke the joke, violence changes things

Yours sincerely.
slave auctions house, major defections in mid-term elections

Thank you for staying with us!
stored to death, social wanker

We're always here for you!
lost money, clit on a huftin poof

Best wishes.
look behind the bullshitter's lines, poncy putwork

Best wishes.
tut for tit, spot what it takes

Sincerely.
stencilled in, love wait relationship

We're always here for you!
dumb appreciation, flirt box

Have a good time!
writing up time, neurosis of nationalism

Yours truly.
mans best end, police speed craps

Yours faithfully.
where there's no reaching up, there'll be no reaching down, have out the same

Enjoy yourself!
pension funds fat cats with members money, telling vision crews

Enjoy yourself!
strife saving, guilty as hell

All the best!
unhappiness depends on imagination, smirking party

We're always here for you!
you and bores, quirky clean

With best wishes.
sup in arms, who puts meaning in meaningful patterns?

Have a good time!
chainstore centres, crime is money

And my personal favorite:

Have a nice day!
thinkmanship, nothing is worth anything except the alleviation of suffering


So it appears the perfect way to write an enigmatic junk mail text is actually quite formulaic. Start off with a friendly, banal greeting, then add something totally random and actually quite philosophical.

DOCTOROFMINDMD

I can't believe I didn't do an entry about this guy as the first! Anyway, I haven't been thinking about him much recently, but he should definitely be in here. I'm just going to copy/paste my old facebook note:

DOCTOROFMINDMD is the friendly psychiatrist practicing somewhere in the western U.S. of A. He's purportedly an attending physician at a teaching hospital. His real name is Mark and he's in his late 30s.

DOCTOROFMINDMD freely admits to having strong Asperger syndrome traits, making him prefer to be alone on his farm with his animals. He lives on a huge ranch and even has baby horses! This guy is the real deal.

Questions DOCTOROFMINDMD is uniquely positioned to answer from the denizens of youtube:

*Is schitzophenia for life, or just for christmas?

*My best story is a clasmate having a panic attack or something??

*Hi there, i have recently been having 'loud thoughts' basically i become very aware of what im thinkin esp. if im reading something, it like takes over my whole head however these thoughts do not sound like a voice in my ear, they are my voice in my head and i went to a psychiatrist telling him about this but because he was not able to diagnose any other symptoms of thought disorder he said it is not a psychotic disorder, im wondering what you think of this?

*my sych doc put me on 450 mg of this shit a day i hate the stuff why??? i will tell u why 1 it makes me tiredand sleep for like 12 hours a night 2...it makes me hungry as a horse 3rd it makes my body and face bloated !!4.. seriously its making me grow tits and im male 5 it does nothing for deppresion or voices please doctor i want too stop taking this drugs
HOW !!?.??

Hey, have you slit your wrists because you got in a fight with your boyfriend? I'm gonna have to stitch this up.

How to mess up a psychiatric evaluation:

Do you want a natural med? Try Lithium! Lithium's a rock! 100% natural!

Ok, I'm scheduling an appointment with this guy ASAP.

NCBI ROFL

I once accidentally stumbled on an article that featured a devastating case study where a man blew crack smoke into a pregnant woman's vagina as part of a sexual act. Far from being baby's first high, the air caused an embolism and the woman died. Since that day, I've been wondering what else is out there in the scientific literature that makes one wonder if scientists wrote it up for the lols. So have these purported Berkeley grad students, and results are totally awesome. I'm going to be reading this blog for hours.

PS Thanks to Matt for this one!