Humanimals

In this day and age of ubiquitous ennui, with the internet making every tidbit of info you ever wanted to know immediately available, I'm beginning to think that the only things that will surprise and amaze me are the crazy shit that humans themselves will come up with. I was actually wrong, see previous entry. Have you spent much time thinking what the term "post-Furry" means?* You don't have to anymore. Andrew Hussie has taken this to the next level.

Shit just got real.

Is this NSFW? I don't think it is, technically, but you'd have a really hard time explaining it to your boss.

This one's the best.

There's actually only 20 of these comics but I think that's probably enough.

*beyond the Mechie

Nature's most bizarre creations

This website is exactly why I started this blog.

From a collection of Lovecraftian creatures to traumatic insemination, this site features creatures so strange you'll want to siphon SETI's budget to deep sea exploration.

Can you believe this??? I'm so happy to live in a world where Mother Nature can still shock me.

Here's a sample:

Despite looking like a Japanese tentacle rape about to happen, that is a Glaucus Nudibranch; a sea slug that swims the ocean like a fish, and eats the tentacles off of Portuguese Man Of Wars. I'll let that sink it; the deadly siphonophores mentioned earlier in the list? These things eat them. And what's better? They store the nematocysts; the stinging cells, to use for their own defense. Imagine you could eat bullets and shoot them out later without a gun; it's kind of like that.

P.S. I am totally terrified of that naked chimp. Uncanny Valley!

Just in time for the holidays!

Please buy me this for Christmas. Then I will truly become self-actualized.

There is an area of Scotland where the life expectancy is 54.

I wouldn't have believed this if I hadn't seen The Acid House.

BBWW: Big Beautiful Wonder Woman

Fan fiction/artwork/slash has always held a special place for me as one of the most bizarre yet unproductive and (mostly) uninspired human expressions, pure perversion neatly packaged into others' original creations. However I do still enjoy a good trainwreck.

Thanks again Pierre!

It's all really, really there

The beauty of a living thing is not the atoms that go into it
But the way those atoms are put together
The cosmos is also within us
We're made of star stuff
We are a way for the cosmos to know itself

-Carl Sagan

A series of vocoded music videos about space and science featuring everyone's favorite science popularizers? Yes, please.

The Death Star of Minsk

Well, it does look really awesome.

Freedom from Covert Harrassment

Somehow my boss got on the listserv of a genuinely psychotic individual(s) who are convinced they're being watched by "US military intelligence and the US investigative agencies, certain defense contractors, corporations, as well as individuals and teams of private citizens."
In other words, everyone.

The List of Associated Harassment Activities reads like a second-person version of the DSM-IV.

I'm including this on the blog because I'm genuinely impressed at how organized and coherent this is. It's not hard to find some mentally ill folks on the internet, but combined with detail and late-90s web design, I'm sure they'll attract a little more attention than the average schizophrenic.

By the way, the latest email to my boss was about being dropped by their lawyers and looking for a new one. Anyone know any lawyers willing to represent these guys? I kinda want to listen in on their periodic conference calls.

As a bonus check out their expert witness, a real Canadian psychiatrist!

"I claim that I can send a beam of energy out of my eyes, capture it in a special set of goggles I have built, and then use the energy to make a tone play out of a speaker. I can do this using the equipment I will bring to the challenge and I can do so at any time, in any office or hotel room that is convenient. I can make the tone sound at will and can signal that I will do so with a finger signal or in response to a verbal command from another person, such as "now" or "go." The tone will play briefly when I decide to make it do so using my eyes and will not play at any other time."

He's taking on James Randi!

Cats can has swine flu and diplomas too!

Fresh off the heels of the first confirmed H1N1 case in cats is one of wikipedia's famed lists, evidence that everything must be catalogued (or in other words, lots of time on someone's hands). There's also links to a few good diploma mill stories there if you're interested.

By the way, isn't the phrase "time on their hands" just really bizarre?

Thanks to Pierre for this one.

Surprisingly insightful junk mail texts

Seemingly not advertising anything in particular. They made it through my spam filter, so there must be something special about them.

long lust, true artists don't cling to their creations

Yours sincerely.
find the results of your reactions and trace their roots, innpeeper

All the best!
smoke the joke, violence changes things

Yours sincerely.
slave auctions house, major defections in mid-term elections

Thank you for staying with us!
stored to death, social wanker

We're always here for you!
lost money, clit on a huftin poof

Best wishes.
look behind the bullshitter's lines, poncy putwork

Best wishes.
tut for tit, spot what it takes

Sincerely.
stencilled in, love wait relationship

We're always here for you!
dumb appreciation, flirt box

Have a good time!
writing up time, neurosis of nationalism

Yours truly.
mans best end, police speed craps

Yours faithfully.
where there's no reaching up, there'll be no reaching down, have out the same

Enjoy yourself!
pension funds fat cats with members money, telling vision crews

Enjoy yourself!
strife saving, guilty as hell

All the best!
unhappiness depends on imagination, smirking party

We're always here for you!
you and bores, quirky clean

With best wishes.
sup in arms, who puts meaning in meaningful patterns?

Have a good time!
chainstore centres, crime is money

And my personal favorite:

Have a nice day!
thinkmanship, nothing is worth anything except the alleviation of suffering


So it appears the perfect way to write an enigmatic junk mail text is actually quite formulaic. Start off with a friendly, banal greeting, then add something totally random and actually quite philosophical.

DOCTOROFMINDMD

I can't believe I didn't do an entry about this guy as the first! Anyway, I haven't been thinking about him much recently, but he should definitely be in here. I'm just going to copy/paste my old facebook note:

DOCTOROFMINDMD is the friendly psychiatrist practicing somewhere in the western U.S. of A. He's purportedly an attending physician at a teaching hospital. His real name is Mark and he's in his late 30s.

DOCTOROFMINDMD freely admits to having strong Asperger syndrome traits, making him prefer to be alone on his farm with his animals. He lives on a huge ranch and even has baby horses! This guy is the real deal.

Questions DOCTOROFMINDMD is uniquely positioned to answer from the denizens of youtube:

*Is schitzophenia for life, or just for christmas?

*My best story is a clasmate having a panic attack or something??

*Hi there, i have recently been having 'loud thoughts' basically i become very aware of what im thinkin esp. if im reading something, it like takes over my whole head however these thoughts do not sound like a voice in my ear, they are my voice in my head and i went to a psychiatrist telling him about this but because he was not able to diagnose any other symptoms of thought disorder he said it is not a psychotic disorder, im wondering what you think of this?

*my sych doc put me on 450 mg of this shit a day i hate the stuff why??? i will tell u why 1 it makes me tiredand sleep for like 12 hours a night 2...it makes me hungry as a horse 3rd it makes my body and face bloated !!4.. seriously its making me grow tits and im male 5 it does nothing for deppresion or voices please doctor i want too stop taking this drugs
HOW !!?.??

Hey, have you slit your wrists because you got in a fight with your boyfriend? I'm gonna have to stitch this up.

How to mess up a psychiatric evaluation:

Do you want a natural med? Try Lithium! Lithium's a rock! 100% natural!

Ok, I'm scheduling an appointment with this guy ASAP.

NCBI ROFL

I once accidentally stumbled on an article that featured a devastating case study where a man blew crack smoke into a pregnant woman's vagina as part of a sexual act. Far from being baby's first high, the air caused an embolism and the woman died. Since that day, I've been wondering what else is out there in the scientific literature that makes one wonder if scientists wrote it up for the lols. So have these purported Berkeley grad students, and results are totally awesome. I'm going to be reading this blog for hours.

PS Thanks to Matt for this one!

Carl Tanzler and a particular dead body harboring tuberculosis: A love story

Carl Tanzler was a doctor back in the dark ages before antibiotics rendered consumption (you know, the once fashionable, chronic wasting illness that gave us many a great Victorian novel) obsolete. He fell in love with a beautiful Cuban women who came to him because she was sick with the illness. She died, but he dug up her body and kept her in a state of quasi-decay for seven years, lovingly restoring parts until she was pretty much a paper-mache RealDoll. Don't click that link if you don't want to see an comely, anatomically correct sex doll. In other words, click that link. Nobody's watching.

POPULAR SCIENCE

Scientists have recently discovered the brain has its own predictive text function. It was thought to have evolved recently, in response to our brains feeling a little bit left out while using our iphones. Clearly, your brain is out of style.

So here's something for your brain to check out while the rest of your body is watching WifeSwap and lolling.

General Buttnaked and His Redemption

In the early 1990s, Liberia was undergoing a brutal civil war where crimes like sacrificing small children before battle were commonplace.

One man stood out as particularly gruesome: Former warlord Joshua Blahyi, or General Buttnaked, as he was nicknamed, because he would often go into battle, well, naked. His men would either be naked or dressed in women's clothing and wigs. He reported killing >10,000 people during the civil war. Currently he is President of the End Time Train Evangelistic Ministries Inc., with Headquarters in Liberia. A film is being made about his life.

Misconceptions About Florida Prisons

Did you think that Florida indulged those serving time with such a luxury as air conditioning? Think again. Also, you are encouraged to copy and circulate this information.

The Fatal Allure of the Golden Gate Bridge

Pretty much everyone is aware that people have ended themselves by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. What you may not have known is how frequent it is, with >20 people from around the world doing it every year.

Inspired by this 2003 article in the New Yorker, filmmaker Eric Steel decided to make a movie under the pretense of capturing "the powerful, spectacular intersection of monument and nature that takes place every day at the Golden Gate Bridge," Mr. Steel set up cameras in 2004 and filmed 23 people jumping to their deaths (and one surprise!). The film uses a perspective of interviewing family members and close friends of the deceased before showing the viewer the actual footage. Called The Bridge, the movie is thought-provoking, unsettling, and really reaffirms the idea (at least for me) that suicide is a fundamentally impulsive act done by very troubled people at a crisis point in their lives. While premeditated, I think that most of these people's deaths could have been prevented if there were a suicide barrier on the bridge. But I guess California has other things to spend its money on right now.

Space Development and Colonization are Still Relevant! Well not really, but almost.

Space Colony Artwork from the 1970s.

What did NASA-commissioned developers and scientists in the 1970s envision space colonization to look like? Now you know.

The Toroidal colonies are my favorite.

Let's get interested

An idea came to me to catalog or otherwise document the personal sites, movies, art, or just weird shit that I come across while surfing the net on a day-to-day basis. What happens to the truly interesting, bizarre, and awesome sites that just don't hold my attention longer than an afternoon, or ones that I am unable to tell you about because I cease to care, forget, or just don't talk to you that often, but still think you (you = everyone) would find interesting or at least amusing? Usually they'd be relegated to my bookmarks and then never looked at again. Now, they will be here. I envision this blog as a place not unlike a cyb0r thrift store, a place where things change really often and you never know what you might find. I do not intend to write much about each site, however, do know that these links have all been extensively reviewed and determined to waste at least 15 minutes of your time, at the end of which you won't want back. This is not going to be a trainwreck syndrome support blog, but with that in mind, and to give you the first introduction to the jumbled, convoluted, and otherwise unorganized splotch of cyberspace that I otherwise refer to as my entertainment:

Frank and Cindy.

I got a gift subscription to Netflix for Christmas from my mom. I am busy going through Season 1 of This American Life, the NPR show that decided it needed to be on TV. This story was featured on an episode. I'm glad it was, because this story wouldn't work on radio at all.

A guy's mom marries a man who was in a one-hit-wonder boyband in the 70s. She expects him to make it big, but he becomes an alcoholic who lives in the basement. Yet their marriage works and simultaneously manages to be hilariously dysfunctional and quite touching.

The guy decides to start filming their lives. Then he decides to make a movie. I haven't seen the
movie yet, but I'll definitely add it to my queue. Whoops, just checked. It's not on Netflix. Go figure.